Random musings of love this morning….love is a weird powerful and I mean freaking POWERFUL force. I know many of you are saying “duh” but it has really been hitting me recently.
Bear and I have had our new parent struggles lately trying to find that groove where we both get our alone time and together time and trying to come to terms with what works and what doesn’t. Yes I have an older child aka the Muffin but she was made with another man and that was a whole different time, place, dynamic etc…feels like a lifetime ago to be honest!
Now this time around I am working full time, Bear is the stay at home parent, there is a whole lot more internet usage, and Bear happens to be a very moody man. A moody man I love and adore!
It is weird how actions and words we once thought would drive us insane or make us fall out of love etc…are now brushed under a rug majority of the time. I am now a peacekeeper even though I may nag on a daily basis.
Cleaning is never done often enough it feels like yet I do not want to put forth the effort in any of my free time to clean either so why do I nag about it?! Where is that cleaning fairy anyway dammit?
There have been too many days lately where I feel like I am the bad guy but then I also get sick of the “I am not good enough” and “I just will do whatever you say” and basically the woe is me talk and tantrums I receive so often.
But you know what? I still look at this man….my Bear (who may act like a 12 year old boy at times) and I feel overwhelming emotion for this man. I love him so deeply and fully I will take his bad moods in stride. I will put the smile back on for him and caress his arm or back as he passes by me in a funk. I will desire him as much as I did when we first started our relationship and get hit all over again thinking WOW love is EFFING Powerful!
And ya know what? Even though he may not clean as much as I would like or exactly how I would like he is an AMAZING Daddy to our girls!!!! And THAT is what truly counts at the end of the day….not if we have a kitchen floor that needs to be mopped.
I can see what you're saying completely. While as my husband isn't moody by any means (he's actually very, very steady), I still find myself nagging at him for things that don't matter in the end, because in the end he is a great father and husband, so even after I nag or get mad, I can still look at him and know that I love him. Hope that made sense, lol.
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